What to Do in School

I am feeling very confused right now. I took a couple years off after high school with the intent to settle on a career goal, before entering college. I had a short list including, counseling, writing, teaching and (don't laugh) acting. Photography was not even in the picture back then. Anyhow, I have been on course for these past two years, working towards a bachelor- majoring in Eng. Lit. and minoring in Spanish. My trip to Spain earlier this year was a major wake-up call however, so the latter has since been crossed off the list.
Back in school this term, I find myself squelching the urge to #1 bury myself in my books, only coming up for air to greet my lovely husband, or #2 pass out my business cards (for photography) to everyone I meet in the streets, grocery stores and hallways of my school. Sadly, #3 writing all the books I hope to write before I die, has gone MIA. It's as if I am two, possibly three people, all with separate ambitions, talents and goals, yet all collaged into one! And I don't know if that makes me a 2 dimensional person or not, but I am definitely beginning to feel a need to burst out into a new level of life. If it's out there.
For now, I look forward to reaching through whatever these current barriers are, incorporating old passions with the new and creating a life of energy, discovery and growth!

Lauren

Lauren, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

I finally found a model who was willing to experiment with me!!! Lauren and I went to the river today and simultaneously fought off those little flea-like sand jumper bugs while taking lots and lots of pictures. We were even mauled by a couple of dogs at one point. Despite the undesirable conditions, Lauren came through (and so did the gorgeous sun)!

Sauvie's Island

theater, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

Ah. I just started school on Monday and after making a very strict goal not to shoot "too much" while in school, I drove the 40-so minutes to Sauvies Island to shoot these four, beautiful models for FIVE hours of gorgeous light. Today, I am back at school! ( *

The wardrobe pieces are actually unfinished models of local design student, Korina Mae.

Terraced

Terraced, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

I was looking through some old photos and came across this one. I love the coinciding poem. I will post it ( :

So unlike home- this people-
dotted-city.
face-filled streets
swelling

past the signs
into the metro
where they paint the station's
blue plastic seats

sunset sky

sunset sky, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

did you know that the word "bokeh" is derived from a Japanese word meaning blurry? The first shot I ever took with my 50mm 1.8 seemed like a dream. I was in awe of the ethereal quality the photo took on by creating this "blur" behind or in front of my subject. When I asked my husband about this he revealed the definition of bokeh to me for the first time.